When we’re doing stuff outside of our comfort zone (which is the location of everything that we don’t yet have) we run into silent voices that stop us. Before we even say “I don’t want to do that because…” we’re done. We go scroll social media. Or, we get hung up on some little idea or part of a project that’s exciting to us but not the most productive.
If we look at ourselves from the outside, the next step is easy. From the inside, it’s a paralyzing (or at least burdensome) fog.
That fog has voices we can’t hear that are shutting us down at every turn.
This is gonna get psychological
Juan Moscoso calls these voices “protectors.” We have our comfort zone because we learned at some point in our lives that we will survive if we stay within certain boundaries. If we venture out, we may be unloved, unfriended, or dead. These protectors keep us alive.
Jack Plotnick calls them “vultures.” Loud birds on our shoulders who make it hard to hear our own voice.
Get rid of the block by giving it a microphone
It’s tough to get the voice to speak up. When we layout our objections they can be refuted. They’re much safer when silent. This is a thing I love doing when I’m coaching / consulting someone. If I can help them say the block, it becomes a lot simpler.
When we talk to someone candidly, and commit our thoughts to words, it makes life better and way simpler than we might imagine. Finding people we can share in the straight dope is a powerful thing.
Get to “who cares?”
Your protector/ vulture voice is logical. It makes total sense. Another part of having someone to talk to is when they say “that doesn’t matter” or “who cares.”
Plotnick’s phrase is “I release and destroy my need to…” Then we can say “Maybe it’s true, people will see that I am ugly, but I don’t need to be pretty to do the thing I want.” Basically, it doesn’t matter.
Moscoso recommends thanking the protector and telling it we’re safe. Gentler, but kinda the same thing.
The voice isn’t there to insert one logical idea, it’s there to protect us from something seemingly life-threatening. It’s not going to give up. As we keep working on a new skill, talking to to a new person, creating a new business… there’s going to be a lot more of these mental roadblocks. It’s great to get someone on our side who we can keep talking to, keep checking in with and following up. They can tell us when we’re veering off path and remind us that all the other stuff doesn’t matter as much as the great growth in our pursuit.