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Email lists are my favorite way to gather my audience. Scot Nery’s Boobietrap sold out most of the tickets last year just through the initial announcements. When it was running weekly, 43% of the audience was repeat visitors due to the email list.

With Boobietrap, we sent emails immediately after the show with a complete playbill so they could see what they saw. We have easy unsubscribe options. Our emails SERVE people instead of asking them for things. You can search my blog for more details about how I think about newsletters and emails

I am aggressive with gathering the right email addresses for my lists. I don’t need the lists to be huge. I need them to be full of the people that I think I can serve with the list. My aspiration would be to stay in touch with, and connect with every person who likes something that I do.

When I was building my list as a solo performer, every time I did a performance where it would be appropriate, I walked around with a sheet of paper on a clipboard and asked each audience member if they’d sign up for my email list.

When I got the signup, i’d read it back to them because I could usually only read 70% of them.

This technique gave them social pressure to sign up (me looking in their eyes), and got consent, and kinda said “I’ll read at least the first email you send me”

We want to make the experience of signing up easy and fun…

• Don’t ask if we’re not going to give them something
• Don’t make it hard to signup
• Don’t ask for too much info at once
• Don’t make busy work (if they gave their email somewhere else, harvest that instead of asking them to write it out or type it again)

When I ran Slapcon, I proposed the idea of a slapstick convention on Facebook and I wanted to gauge interest and have a way to follow up. Instead of having a signup form, I just asked people to email me. When they emailed me; it was easy for them, casual, and I got their email address. Was a tiny bit more labor for me moving their addresses over to my list and responding to emails, but worth it. Success for a small list and a fun event.

Boobietrap’s current capture on the website is a signup form. We offer people something for signing up – find out when tickets go on sale.

If these options aren’t available and addresses need to be captured at a live event, I have seen venues use comment cards. I would recommend adding the email address as a required element for a promised reward. EG: “Give us a comment and receive a free ticket to a future show. Email address where we should send the free ticket __________” I’d also follow up the positive comments with a message asking them if they would mind making an online review to share with the world – links to yelp and stuff.

An email or text action could also be included in the event. eg: “We have a photoshop expert coming out here on stage in a few minutes. Email us a photo and she’ll retouch it on screen”. after the event give them an offer of adding them to the email list (because it will serve them)

My small town school teachers said over and over again I had lots of potential, but I needed to do my work. This made me feel like a total nothing. 

After traveling the world and meeting the best creators in the world, I see that I wasn’t limiting my potential. The teachers were. 

When I was a class clown, or creating games on my calculator to share, or learning magic tricks, I was trying to engage other kids. I loved learning. I wanted my classmates  to wake up and love it too. 

All the crazy things I do performing, creating, fathering are about leaving no potential wasted. 

Hey teachers, I didn’t have to work harder. I was doing my work, it’s just that I wasn’t doing your work. I had already started my career.

Potential is not assessable

We can’t see what the future holds. We can’t tell what’s next. We can’t correctly evaluate what’s in a person or a group of people. When we start to estimate potential, we’re pretty wrong.

Potential is myopic

Just like my teachers, when we look at potential, we’re looking at it thru a limited view. We’re determining what’s possible in a certain small goal (eg: what will get this kid into a local college?). This eliminates possibility, it undermines available resources, and it most likely has too low of a bar.

When people say “You can be anything you want to be.” It’s trying to break from the idea that we have limited potential, but it’s still based on the idea of potential. It’s a different perspective on potential – one that we don’t really believe anyhow.

Now is the alternative

Let’s let the whole idea of potential go. When we’re trying to activate a group of people, here’s what we need to do…

1. Evaluate our current situation
2. Agree on a goal
3. Check our resources (even just a few of them)
4. Make a plan
5. Take action

In the case of my teachers, they could have…

1. looked at my grades. asked me why i wasn’t getting better grades and why I was getting in mischief. asked me how i was spending most of my time.
2. talked to me about what I wanted to become and what I liked about life. Come up with a goal / mission for me – even in the short term (the actual goal was not to get good grades, but to make me successful in life)
3. Look at my strengths and assets
4. make a plan
5. give me next steps for that plan

This would have taken maybe 30 minutes and would have saved them from having to meet with my parents or deal with my constant disruptions. I’m sure handing out detentions wasn’t easy for them either.

Dealing with a group

When we have an hour with a group of people, we have to take care of those 5 things quickly. Mostly, we gotta get everyone on the same page and give them a simple directive. It can be as easy as this…

“We had an incredible year and one of our strengths has been enthusiasm and connecting to each other(1). If we can build on this, we can experience even more growth… what do you think(2)? We’re all here together(3) and we can celebrate who we are to refill us with fuel for more enthusiasm (4)… so I want to hear you cheer your socks off(5)! “

I listen for a buzz. We want to create an environment and a setup before an event so that people are buzzing. When it’s over, we want that same buzz or more.

The good buzz sounds like people talking to each other excitedly. They will be talking a little bit loud to be heard over those around them. Laughter. Dynamic range in their voice tones and volume.

If we don’t have this, we’ve failed. I’ve been to some events where the thing ends in applause, then silence as people shuffle out of the theater with smiles on. This is the worst! This is what happens when the energy and motivation has been sucked out of the audience. Someone who’s not looking for the buzz might think this was successful.

Applause, smiles, and even compliments are fools’ gold. They could be signs of a good moment, or they could be signs that the audience feels they need to perform for the creators.

We want to strive to open folks up to the energy within them. Power them up and set them free. Let them feel life!

We might feel like frauds. We might feel like we’re not qualified to do our job — whatever that is. We might feel like we have nothing to offer

… until we see how bad the situation is.

When I go to an event to perform, I might think I won’t be that great for a certain group. Then, I see someone introducing me, I see how bored the audience is, I see how poorly something is planned. Suddenly, I know exactly what my purpose is. I know how to fix it.

When I talk to a potential client and I feel nervous that they might not hire me, sometimes they’re just not right for me, but sometimes it’s really obvious to me. Sometimes I think, this person’s really stuck and it’s easy for me to get them out.

I can usually find the problem, and if I have the solution, I’m grateful that I’m there to help.

Our value is invisible to us, so we gotta stay conscious of that fact. And sometimes we can gain confidence at the last minute by examining the situation and looking for ways that the people we’re there for have got it bad.

This is about how I’m raising my kid.

I’m not really into celebrating history, so let’s just start where we are now and treat Thanksgiving as a meaningless holiday for the purpose of mega-gratitude! This is a holiday for everyone in the world. Let’s be grateful.

People have told me that you can’t be grateful and fearful at the same time. Let’s apply this to crowds of people. Let’s embolden groups to take action using gratitude.

1. remind folks of goodness

My first thinking of how to communicate something to people is always just say it bluntly. We can say things like…

• “We lucked out with a beautiful day today!”
• “Can you believe who you’re here with!?”
• “Look at what we accomplished in the past year!”

2. get them to remind themselves

Hearing questions engages our brains more than hearing statements. We feel compelled to solve a problem and think more deeply about the topic.

• “Are you good at your job?”
• “What’s your home like compared to this picture of a shack?”
• “Are you dying in a hospital? Raise your hand if you are.”

3. get them to imagine and reframe

When I walk around in Hollywood, it really helps me to get grounded. I see people from all walks of life. It reminds me of who I am and what my life is. I have chosen this life and I love it. When we tell a story, it can help our people walk in other shoes and imagine. It can help them be more grateful.

When we want to energize a crowd – move them to move themselves – we need to stir their own inner energy… Or maybe distract them from their own tiredness.

Animals Need Calories

We need to eat enough, and be able to process the food that we eat to have usable energy in our bodies. Usually, we do. Usually we’re good on calories.

Humans Need Game

Our mindsets can make us feel extra tired. Our mindsets help us decide where to put our energy, or make us decide that it’s a time for rest.

If our dear group of people is in rest mode (or anything less than motivated), it’s time to take action. They need the 3 parts of gamifying.

1. The right amount of challenge
2. A feeling of control
3. A worthwhile goal

If we can make a group activity a game in this sense, we can tap into amazing group energy.

People use us for our merits, but they love us for our imperfections. When we want ourselves or our organizations to be loved, instead of being great, we need to be good. Instead of perfect achievement and flawlessness, we need to show that we’re flawed.

To lead a group, or energize a crowd, we definitely need something to offer them. We definitely need good intensions. We don’t need perfection. In fact, it’s likely detrimental to our connection success.

It’s a release of control

I used to enter into relationships with girls trying to be a “good guy” and a generally ideal partner. I didn’t share when things were bad. I tried to not complain. I didn’t set up boundaries. I didn’t share my feelings unless I thought they were completely justifiable. What did this get me? A lot of resentments and breakups. It also gave me control. I mean, it was crazy. I thought I controlled the perceptions of my partners, but I totally didn’t. I would show up as a 100% angel, then when it was time to break up, 100% jerk. It was binary and clear. I was in charge!

What I didn’t get from this was love. I didn’t love myself, and since my partners couldn’t really see who i was, it was impossible for them to love me for who I truly was.

Also, when one of us sets up this dynamic of control, the other one needs to play along to stay in the interaction.

I think you see where I’m going with this. Vulnerability is the opposite. Being transparent is the way to get love. Showing up as we are is the way to not just find adoration, but to make adoration flow both ways. This is true with individuals and with groups.

We gotta be aware of our fear of losing control.

Show up

There’s no control, anyhow. The way to get people to love us when we don’t try to control them is thru just being there. When someone’s standing in front of us and giving us love, it’s very hard to reject them. Their vulnerability is a gift and it feels imperative to reciprocate. That doesn’t mean they’re guaranteed to get love, but they are at least opening the door wide. We can’t guarantee anything.

Show imperfection

We can show imperfection by being honest about something in some way. Being self-deprecating is the go-to device for standup comics. Just admitting something didn’t go right at a shared event. Tell a story that demonstrates, in part, something we might not be totally proud of.

Show openness

Even easier than showing imperfection is showing openness. Breathing, letting silence, listening to the audience, this shows that we’re not trying to take control.

Don’t be sloppy

An event that is completely unplanned and contentless is the ultimate in vulnerability, but there’s no point. Our goal with gathering groups of people together is not to be vulnerable like it is in a romantic relationship. Our goal is our goal (team building, promotion, entertainment, selling drinks, etc.) being vulnerable is our method. We can’t let the scale tip too far to the other side and just be a total mess. Be open, receive… then give.

Doing Scot Nery’s Boobietrap, we wanted to fill every seat. So, when we weren’t sold out, we gave away lots of tickets for free. Our seats still weren’t filled. If enough people knew about us and knew they could get free tickets, why would we not have a packed house? Because money is not the only cost of coming to a show.

When the tickets were $20, parking in Hollywood was sometimes more expensive. Getting a babysitter costs more. The potential to be disappointed (if they didn’t know how good this show is) costs a lot. The potential to be uncomfortable instead of staying home with Netflix costs more.

Getting a $20 discount on an expensive experience is not that great. Although i’m sure people weren’t doing the math, they were feeling the math.

Everything’s got costs

This is an important lesson to remember when we’re trying to get people to commit to anything. When we ask people to clap at a show, we’re asking them for more than the calories that it takes to move their hands around. That’s why we have to make every request have a valuable reward.

Here’s how to get that going

1. Up the value

With Boobietrap, we had to clarify how awesome the show was to people. Tell them more about the value they got from it. Why was it good? Why was it worth all this effort and time? How was it something they already wanted?

EG: If I want a crowd to shout out a word at the same time, I have to convince them it’s worth really trying to shout. There will be a payoff to not phoning it in.

2. Lower the price

We got a parking sponsor for the show, so people would have free parking, but also they would have a guaranteed spot, which took some headaches out of their night.

EG: Instead of getting everyone to shout a word, I could get them all to hiss. It’s a little easier. Lower price, same value.

3. Up the trust

If people don’t believe the show will be worth the price, they won’t come.

In the same way, if people don’t think that I’ll listen if they choose to hiss, or they don’t trust that hissing will improve their experience, they won’t participate. One way to solve this is to make small requests, then come thru on the promise each time. Each time, make the price higher and the value higher. “everyone, let’s get quiet” “okay cool that was a little creepy” “you, right there. Could you clap for me really quick?” “thank you, that person is good at clapping” “let’s all clap!” “You’re all good at clapping, except that person over there” “Could you please all hiss?” “Yes! this is awesome”

This exchange is awkward and I probably wouldn’t literally do that one. I think i made myself clear, though.

I loved learning, but my teachers in school were often more into enforcement than enrollment. They’d rather make rules than entice students into the lessons. My fellow students fell asleep, quit school, or just tried to get okay grades. I was a class clown because I wanted kids to wake up. I would comment on what was going on to try to make learning more fun for others. Got punished often for this. 

I think Ken Honda said that your super power is what got you in trouble as a kid. I’ve found that that’s probably true for me in this. I love stirring people so they open their eyes and pay attention to the beauty of the moment and of those around them. When I do juggling shows, I’m not happy with just applause or laughter. I want to hold them in the palm of my hand and get them in a state of awe. When I emcee a corporate event or some big festival, I want to change the context of each thing I introduce and show people how awesome it is to be here now!

Blake Snyder wrote a book on screenwriting called “Save the Cat.” The title refers to a literary device wherein the hero has to do something like save the life of a cat to establish that the hero has a good heart.

Like I said in Creepy Creators I just can’t get on board with certain people. When we are leading a group through education or entertainment or action, we want enrollment. Instead of forcing them to participate, we want to draw them in to sharing a mission with us. That means they need to agree with us. They need to see us as having good intentions. Any disagreement can lead to distrust. Leading without trust is a tough job.

It’s mostly social

A strong audience is a tribe. They are communal and they are vibing together. Weirdly, they instantly setup a set of laws for the tribe that are completely unspoken. For a standup comedy crowd, the rules of what’s funny and what’s not are agreed and communicated through laughter, applause, groans, and heckles. People don’t want to laugh at the wrong things because they will be rejected from the tribe. Our animal brains tell us if we’re rejected from the tribe, we die.

So, death.

Getting on board with the wrong leader will take us to the grave. It’s not logical, but it’s an emotional reality.

Let’s save the cat

Here are some things we can do to attract people to our mission.

• random act of kindness. Do something sweet. Even small small signals like showing genuine gratitude for applause can make us more endearing. Compliment someone. Do something with not much payoff that obviously takes a lot of effort.
• share ethos. “I’m doing this because…” helps a lot. There is a greater purpose to the things we do. We want to make the world a better place. Sharing ethos helps to clarify the true intensions behind our sometimes confusing actions.
• make ’em laugh. it’s kinda a random act of kindness, but it’s also an ice breaker.

Here’s the problem with validation from others…

1. Real validation comes from success.
2. The only way to measure success is to know the situation, the starting point, the goal, and the level of accomplishment.
3. No one understands us completely.

When someone asks me who I see as successful, I say “Me!” because I’m the only one that knows me and I don’t completely know anyone else.

The separation of work and self

We can’t be validated for who we are. A human being existing is a success, so we can’t be successful as a person. We can’t be more valid as a person than any other person.

Validation of our work

Even though our work can be so entwined with our sense of self, it is not us.

Even getting our work validated by others is near impossible. For someone to validate our work, they have to know not just our field, but exactly what we’re doing. We’re not doing the same thing as many other people, so we don’t have good chances here.

Validation from self

The way to get real validation is from ourselves. This will let us push beyond our peers and grant us freedom to pursue our intentions.

1. We set goals
2. Try to achieve them.
3. Stay accountable to our success.
4. Forgive ourselves for our shortcomings.
5. Over-do it with remembering and appreciating our successes.

We have to over-do it because humans have a negativity bias. We are attuned to looking for danger and problems, so we gotta remember that we’re awesome as much as possible. Tap into the abundance of self. We gotta create our own validation.

False validation

A major issue with false validation is it can re-align what we pursue. If I’m a carpenter who loves giving my customers low price solutions, but I show my fanciest work to other carpenters, I might get the wrong focus. Those carpenters might start complimenting me on how I used really nice nails. That feels good! Then, I start thinking about how I can get more compliments by using more high priced supplies. Suddenly, I can’t do inexpensive work anymore.

I did this show where I killed. I absolutely did awesome. You could feel it in the room. The audience was connected to me and were moving with every one of my movements. It was great. I was the only one in the show that really rocked it.

After the show, I was standing on the stage with some other performers and audience members came up to talk to us. Many of them said “good job” to me.

There was another performer who performed some old vaudeville bits. They did them well, but they were old and they felt old and the audience responded generously. The audience wasn’t experiencing a show, they were visiting a museum.

Many audience members came up to this performer and gushed how funny their bits are (that they didn’t really laugh at) and talked to them at length just how perfect their show was. This audience was the type of people that dress up in vintage clothes and go to swing dance nights.

Based on the gushing, you’d think I did much worse in the show than the time capsule act.

That was an epiphany for me. These people don’t know what they just experienced. Their cognition is separate from their emotional response. I knew what I did to them, but they can’t realize it and they might just not have anything that they can verbalize about it. Normal people don’t get what a great entertainer does.

Go for the goal

I realized in that moment, I’m not trying to be gotten. I’m trying to change a room. I’m trying to entertain at a high level and really whisk people away to a greater plane of connection and joie de vivre. That’s my goal and that’s where I’m successful. I encourage everyone to find that validation.

Nobody understands me. Nobody understands you.