I have learned a poo-ton thru online advice and IRL mentors. The advice I’ve given is even better! The greatest entertainment makers get lots of counseling from other masters, but we can sometimes do it wrong. We can see an opportunity to connect with someone’s wisdom and waste it.
I want to reiterate that people like to help. People like to feel useful.
Ask a lot. Go for it. But do it right.
Saying “Could I pick your brain” Sucks
- This is a gross phrase
- What are we asking? It’s like “could I talk to you?”
- Why?
An example of a bad way to transfer wisdom
Us – “You’re so cool. May I pick your brain?”
Successful person – “Uh, I guess so…”
Us – “What’s the best way to break into Hollywood?”
Successful person – “Uh, well, it’s not locked.”
1. Be specific to the advisor
“You’re an animator with a unique style and you’ve found lots of success. Could I ask for a little help with my own style?”
“You are an incredible networker. Could I ask you some questions about connecting with the right people for this project I’m working on?”
“You’ve been really good in this biz. Could I ask you a little about my direction starting out?”
Notice, we’re complimenting the person’s wisdom/skills (not their resources), then telling them what we will be asking. Even if the conversation leads in a different direction eventually, we’ve expressed the main thing that we want.
2. Be Candid
“Because of my day job and family, I only have about an hour per day to work on my writing career. I have a book that’s half finished. I have no agent and only 20 followers on twitter.”
“I tend to jump from project to project. The way I’ve gotten most of my work is thru family. I’m scared of really going public.”
If folks don’t know the truth of our situation, they will give us nothing useful. We gotta be honest and vulnerable to get the best advice.
3. Be clear
“My goal next month is to sell 100 more tickets. Do you have thoughts about how to do that better?”
“When a client asks how long a project will take, I feel like I’m trapped and I often under-bid. How do you respond?”
“I feel like I’m wasting time on casting. Do you remember what the process was for casting the Gothic Ballet you produced?”
Stating clear goals gives the advisor a problem to solve. If they need to guess the goal, (“like what color is best to paint my car”) it’s more work for them and probably not fulfilling.
4. Show prototypes
“The following is the email I’ve been sending out to agents”
“I spend four hours per day coding and four hours per day streaming live to promote my game”
“This is the costume design I have so far.”
Giving advice on a premise is the worst. We don’t want to say “I have this idea for a tv show that’s about pickles and comedy, what do you think?” We want to say, “here’s a draft of the work I’ve done, what can be improved? What am I missing?”
Don’t ask
Sometimes we meet someone who looks like they can help us a lot. If we can’t do the stuff above, we don’t need to ask them anything. We can be grateful we met them and stay in touch until we are ready to ask the right questions.