{"id":4001,"date":"2024-08-02T15:17:12","date_gmt":"2024-08-02T22:17:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.scot.fun\/damentals\/?p=4001"},"modified":"2024-08-02T15:17:15","modified_gmt":"2024-08-02T22:17:15","slug":"tribal-margin-of-acceptance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.scot.fun\/damentals\/tribal-margin-of-acceptance\/","title":{"rendered":"Tribal Margin of Acceptance"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

We want to think bigger like other people do. It feels dangerous. There’s a reason that trying to do gigs for 2x as much feels like life or death. There’s a reason that imagining buying a big house with art makes us eat a whole pizza.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s a matter of life and death.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

We’re tribal. We live in tribes and we die when we leave them. Living in a tribe in a village, if we’re kicked out of the village, if the tribe rejects us, we are dead. We can’t defend ourselves, we can’t find food or water. We die. Rejection kills us. This is built in to who we are. So, when my tribe (the people i surround myself with) tells me that I’m not allowed to live in a trailer park, and I’m also not allowed to live in a 5 bedroom house with a pool, I listen. I know that they’re right. It’s an unquestioned ruling that is built into my nervous system. It’s just as important as looking out for tigers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with<\/strong>.”\u00a0This makes it sound like a delightful little tidbit to make our lives a little better and it’s a good thing to remember. The truth of why it feels so important and impossible sometimes to swing for the fences, is that we are gonna die.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The people that care about us also want to keep us safe. They want to keep us in the tribe and want everyone in the tribe to accept us. That means caring advice is often bad advice – it’s based on preservation in an artifical dangerzone rather than growth and thriving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By having big ambitions, it’s worth it to do big stuff. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rebel<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

One thing we can do is risk death by denying the tribal margin of acceptance. We can rebel against what our loved ones tell us. This sucks because it makes us feel in danger the entire time we’re doing it<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Move<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

We can change tribes. This is painful if done all at once. Say goodbye to everyone close and move on. This is a thing that addicts in recovery or reformed criminals can do especially when actual life and death is on the line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lens Change<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

We can have conversations with people who are most influential to us. We can find out if our boyfriend really wants us to get a day job, or if that’s a misinterpretation. We can find out if our aunt really believes that art is a waste. Even though our tribe can be limiting, sometimes it’s helpful to see what the real limits are so we can expand within them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take action : get out<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Send a text message right now to someone that’s inspirational to you. Someone who might feel like they’re too good for you. Someone who you think has a good quality that could rub off. We don’t have to cancel our entire tribe. We can just take a loaf of bread to another one.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We want to think bigger like other people do. It feels dangerous. There’s a reason that trying to do gigs for 2x as much feels like life or death. There’s a reason that imagining buying a big house with art makes us eat a whole pizza. It’s a matter of life and death. We’re tribal. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":4047,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158666434799935_26707174888":"","twitter_aToyMjM4MTQzMDs=_22381430":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4001","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.scot.fun\/damentals\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/blog-1.jpg?fit=2000%2C1125&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pc33gc-12x","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1775,"url":"https:\/\/www.scot.fun\/damentals\/pompous-performer\/","url_meta":{"origin":4001,"position":0},"title":"Pompous Performer","author":"scot","date":"October 2, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"In my first few years as a street performer, I did way better when there were no other entertainers around. 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